67 Worst Baby Names History Ever Had

I m a g e : iStock

H u m a n beings a r e probably t h e weirdest o f all t h e creatures o n earth. R e c e n t l y , a F r e n c h judge h i t the h e a d l i n e s when h e stopped a couple n a m i n g their d a u g h t e r Nutella. B u t this i s not t h e first i n s t a n c e of p a r e n t s choosing s t r a n g e names f o r their c h i l d r e n . They h a v e time a n d again p r o v e n their w e i r d n e s s to t h e world. A n d , keeping w i t h this t h e m e of s e l e c t i n g the w o r s t possible n a m e s for c h i l d r e n , we a t MomJunction h a v e compiled a list o f 67 w o r s t baby n a m e s for g i r l s and b o y s .

W o r s t Girl N a m e s :

1 . Hellzel:

C o m b i n a t i o n names a r e never a good i d e a , and t h i s name j u s t proves t h a t . The R e d d i t user s t a t e s that t h e mother l i k e d the n a m e Hazel, b u t the f a t h e r was a biker a n d loved H e l l s Angel. S o they c a m e up w i t h this s t r a n g e name.

2 . Ahmiracle:

3 . Anna…:

A n n a is s u c h a b e a u t i f u l and g r a c e f u l name. I t ’ s one o f our f a v o r i t e s too! B u t what’s w i t h the e l l i p s i s ? What w o r d , sentence, a n d section d i d the p a r e n t s omit f r o m her n a m e ? We’re c u r i o u s !

4 . I’munique:

T h i s is o n e of o u r favorite w o r s t baby g i r l names. O n e Reddit u s e r , who h a p p e n s to b e a b a n k e r in N o r t h Florida, f o u n d this n a m e on h e r list. A n d it b e l o n g s to a girl. A narcissistic g i r l , we m u s t say.

5 . Baby G i r l :

N o w how d i d this n a m e happen? W e r e the p a r e n t s too l a z y to t h i n k a n a m e for t h e i r girls? O r they t h o u g h t this n a m e has a nice r i n g to i t ? We’ll t e l l you h o w . When t h e baby w a s born, t h e parents w e r e expecting a baby b o y and h a d not e v e n thought a baby g i r l name. S o they n a m e d her B a b y Girl ( l a s t name).

6 . Britney S h a k i r a Beyoncé:

D o n ’ t rub y o u r eyes. T h i s name b e l o n g s to o n e person. T h e parents w e r e huge f a n s of t h e s e three s i n g e r s and c o u l d n ’ t decide w h o m to n a m e their d a u g h t e r after. S o , they n a m e d her B r i t n e y Shakira B e y o n c é . And, w h a t ’ s even f u n n i e r is t h a t they c a l l her f u l l name e v e r y single t i m e .

7 . Love-child E r m e n g a r d e :

I t couldn’t g e t more e x p l i c i t that t h i s ! The h i p p i e parents w a n t e d to i n c l u d e the m o t h e r ’ s grandmother’s n a m e to t h e i r child’s n a m e . So t h e y named t h e i r daughter L o v e – c h i l d Ermengarde. W e have n o problem w i t h Ermengarde, b u t why L o v e – c h i l d ? Why n o t a p r o p e r name? O n l y the p a r e n t s can g i v e us t h e answer.

8 . Elizabreth:

N o , this i s n ’ t a t y p o in a n y way. P a r e n t s had a c t u a l l y chosen t h i s name f o r their b a b y . Don’t y o u think i t sounds l i k e ‘Lizard B r e a t h ’ ? A R e d d i t user p o i n t e d the s a m e . So i f you d o n ’ t want o t h e r kids t o poke f u n at y o u r child’s n a m e , do n o t use E l i z a b r e t h or t h e sort f o r your d a u g h t e r .

9 . Aliviyah:

A good n a m e gone w r o n g . We t r u l y do n o t understand w h a t parents g e t by c h a n g i n g the t r a d i t i o n a l spelling o f a n a m e . Aliviyah i s the “ c r e a t i v e spelling” o f Olivia. S h a k e s p e a r e must b e rolling i n the g r a v e tearing h i s hair o u t , if h e does h a v e any l e f t that i s .

1 0 . Nevaeh:

I t would b e difficult f o r most o f you t o understand t h e meaning b e h i n d this n a m e . But w e are h e r e to h e l p you o u t . Write H E A V E N in l a r g e letters o n a p i e c e of p a p e r and s t a n d in f r o n t of t h e mirror. Y e s , Nevaeh i s Heaven b a c k w a r d .

1 1 . Beberly:

T h i s is p r o b a b l y a s p e l l i n g mistake o f Beverly. T h a t ’ s what w e want t o think. D o not t e l l us i t was d e l i b e r a t e . Just d o n ’ t . We m i g h t just l o s e our h o p e in h u m a n i t y .

1 2 . Little S w e e t m e a t :

W e have n o words t o express o u r disappointment f o r this n a m e . If y o u are s t i l l considering o f calling y o u r child ‘ L i t t l e Sweetmeat,’ t h i n k out t h e ramifications i t could b r i n g . The r e s u m e s that y o u Little S w e e t m e a t would n e e d to f i l l out, t h e reaction o f other c h i l d r e n when h e r name i s called f o r attendance, e t c .

1 3 . Abcde:

W e cannot e v e n believe t h a t it i s a r e a l name. W h a t ’ s more s u r p r i s i n g is t h a t there a r e 328 p e o p l e in t h e United S t a t e s named A b c d e , the m a j o r i t y being g i r l s . In t h e year 2 0 0 9 alone, 3 2 babies w e r e given t h i s alphabetical n a m e . It s e e m s that t h e parents t h o u g h t of g i v i n g an e a r l y head s t a r t in l e a r n i n g to t h e children.

1 4 . Merica:

A s if, A m e r i c a was n o t funny e n o u g h . This m u s t have b e e n chosen b y some p a t r i o t i c parents, t h i n k i n g that w i t h this n a m e , their b a b y would m a k e America g r e a t again.

1 5 . Jerica:

W h a t could b e the p o s s i b l e origin o f this n a m e ? The p a r e n t s loved t h e name J e s s i c a , but c o u l d not d o without E r i c a as w e l l ? Or w e r e the p a r e n t s named J e s s and E r i c a and t h i s name i s a c o m b i n a t i o n of b o t h ? Whatever m a y be t h e reason, w e find J e r i c a hysterical.

1 6 . Kaizyle:

T h i s one’s a dizzy d o o z y name. T h e mother l o v e d the n a m e Paisley, b u t thought i t was t o o ordinary a n d normal. S o she s e l e c t e d the n a m e Kaizyle a s it r h y m e s with P a i s l e y . The n a m e is n o t just w e i r d , but a l s o has a very c o n f u s i n g pronunciation.

1 7 . Orgasm:

T h i s name w a s heard f r o m the d a u g h t e r of a labor a n d delivery n u r s e . She s a i d that s h e had h e a r d an a b u n d a n c e of t e r r i b l e baby n a m e s , but t h i s one i s the w o r s t of a l l . And w e couldn’t a g r e e more. I t ’ s not j u s t bad, b u t shocking, o f f e n s i v e , embarrassing a n d downright v u l g a r at t h e same t i m e .

1 8 . North W e s t :

S o r r y Kim, b u t we h a d to i n c l u d e this o n our l i s t . This d i r e c t i o n a l name j u s t doesn’t l o o k right. I t would h a v e worked i f they h a d chosen a different s u r n a m e . Too b a d , they c a n n o t even d o anything a b o u t it a s the b a b y is n a m e d after h e r father.

1 9 . Appaloosa:

W e think t h a t the p a r e n t s were h u g e fans o f Ed H a r r i s that t h e y decided t o name t h e i r child a f t e r the 2 0 0 8 movie o f the s a m e name. B u t dear p a r e n t s , there i s a h u g e difference b e t w e e n a f i l m title a n d a b a b y name. Y o u wouldn’t n a m e your c h i l d “Avengers” r i g h t . Or m a y b e , they l o v e d the A p p a l o o s a breed o f horses.

2 0 . Panthy:

P a n t h y sounds l i k e panty, i s n ’ t it? O r maybe t h e parents h a d a s t r o n g love f o r big c a t s . Highly u n a p p e a l i n g , we m u s t say. A n d it w o u l d even m a k e the c h i l d the b u t t of a l l jokes.

2 1 . Reighleigh:

T h e mother h a d turned t h e simple s p e l l i n g Riley t o Reighleigh. W h y ? Because ‘ g ’ and ‘ h ’ were h e r favorite l e t t e r s . How’s t h e poor b a b y going t o spell t h e name i n her e l e m e n t a r y school? A n o t h e r mother n a m e d her d a u g h t e r Eighmey, a n elaborate s p e l l i n g for A m y .

2 2 . Harley Q u i n n :

H a r l e y is c u t e and r h y t h m i c , but w h y Harley Q u i n n ? Anybody c a n guess t h a t it’s n a m e d after t h e antagonist o f DC c o m i c s . What c o u l d be n e x t ? Joker? O r Maybe, B a t m a n .

2 3 . Melanomia:

T h i s is s a d . Very s a d . How c a n a p a r e n t name h i s daughter M e l a n o m i a , which i s a f o r m of s k i n cancer t h a t can s p r e a d to o t h e r parts o f the b o d y if n o t undetected? W e hope t h e parents r e a l i z e their m i s t a k e and c h a n g e the n a m e .

2 4 . Vejonica:

A Reddit u s e r states t h a t his f r i e n d ’ s sister-in-law, w o r k i n g in a maternity w a r d was n a m e d Vejonica. U p o n further i n s p e c t i o n , it w a s found t h a t the b a b y was n a m e d after h e r grandparents, n a m e d John a n d Veronica.

2 5 . Heaven L e e :

T h i s is h i l a r i o u s . Did t h e parents n o t know t h e spelling o f heavenly? O r is L e e the f a m i l y name o f the b a b y . Maybe i t is, b u t the c o m b i n a t i o n sounds v e r y funny.

2 6 . L’Oreal:

B r a n d loyalty i s good. B u t naming t h e child a f t e r the b r a n d ? That’s a bit t o o much. T h e same m o m m y named h e r other t w o child D K N Y and J o o p . Another m o t h e r named h e r SON R e v l o n . We’d s o o n see a n Inglot t o o !

2 7 . Derfla:

T h e parents o f this b a b y thought t h e y would h a v e a b o y and p l a n n e d to n a m e him a f t e r their U n c l e Alfred. B u t they h a d a g i r l , and t h e y had t o come u p with s o m e t h i n g . So t h e y named h e r Derfla, w h i c h is A l f r e d backward.

2 8 . Phelony:

T h a t ’ s felony w i t h a ‘ P h ’ . We w a n t to k n o w what t h e mother w a s thinking w h e n she d e c i d e d to n a m e her d a u g h t e r Phelony.

2 9 . Tu M o r r o w :

R o b Morrow n a m e d his d a u g h t e r Tu M o r r o w , and w e have n o idea w h a t Tu m e a n s . We c a n only w i s h that h e r class f e l l o w s do n o t serenade h e r for t h e name f o r e v e r .

3 0 . Moxie C r i m e f i g h t e r :

J o b descriptions n e v e r have a n d never w i l l work a s a p r o p e r name. A n d what a r e the o d d s that s h e would e v e n grow u p to b e a c r i m e f i g h t e r ? Penn J i l l e t t e should d e f i n i t e l y reconsider t h e name.

3 1 . Abstinence:

N a m i n g your c h i l d Abstinence w o u l d not d o the w o r k of s e x education. I f you w a n t to t e a c h your c h i l d to a b s t a i n from i r r e s p o n s i b l e sexual r e l a t i o n s h i p , give h e r a p r o p e r education. T h e name A b s t i n e n c e would o n l y make h e r a s o u r c e of m o c k e r y .

3 2 . Fifi T r i x i e b e l l :

B o b Geldof a n d Paula Y a t e s named h e r daughter F i f i Trixiebell. I s n ’ t it t h e name P a r i s Hilton u s e d it f o r her d o g ? The o t h e r two g i r l s of B o b and P a u l a are n a m e d Peaches H o n e y b l o s s o m and P i x i e .

3 3 . Apple:

A n apple a day k e e p s the d o c t o r away. W e hope i t keeps t h e bullies a w a y too, i f you g i v e this n a m e to y o u r daughter. G w y n e t h Paltrow a n d Christ M a r t i n named t h e i r daughter A p p l e as i t made t h e m think o f something g o o d and w h o l e s o m e .

3 4 . Facebook:

I n Egypt, J a m a l Ibrahim n a m e d his b a b y girl F a c e b o o k to a c k n o w l e d g e the r o l e the s o c i a l media p l a y e d in s p u r r i n g the r e v o l u t i o n in h i s country. H e wanted t o pay g r a t i t u d e to F a c e b o o k for h e l p i n g the p e o p l e get r i d of t h e President H o s n i Mubarak.

3 5 . Olive G a r d e n :

T h e father l i k e d the n a m e Garden f o r their b a b y girl, b u t the w i f e was a d a m a n t on O l i v e . So t h e couple c o m p r o m i s e d and n a m e d her O l i v e Garden S m i t h .

W o r s t Baby N a m e s Of B o y s :

1 . Jihad:

Y o u can’t b e serious w i t h this. E l f i Yaghi, n a m e d her 1 4 t h child J i h a d , raising a few e y e b r o w s . Most o f you m u s t be k n o w i n g that J i h a d is a n Islamic t e r m for a war w a g e d as a religious d u t y . The n a m e also m e a n s ‘struggling’, w h i c h your c h i l d probably w i l l be, w i t h a n a m e like t h i s .

2 . Clitis:

B e l i e v e us, i t ’ s true. A French c o u p l e named t h e i r child C l i t i s . When a s k e d the r e a s o n , they s a i d they w e r e huge f a n s of a US a c t o r of t h i s name. T h e second q u e s t i o n was w h i c h US a c t o r was n a m e d Clitis? T h e y replied i n their F r e n c h accent, “ C l i t i s Wood”. T h e y meant C l i n t Eastwood. F a c e p a l m !

3 . Danger:

Y e s , Danger i s a n a m e borne b y some c h i l d r e n , and a unisex o n e . What c o u l d be t h e inspiration b e h i n d this n a m e ? “Lost i n Space”, m a y b e (Danger, W i l l Robinson. D a n g e r ! ) The p e r s o n probably p r e s u m e d that D a n g e r is t h e first o r last n a m e of W i l l Robinson. B u t we h a v e to a g r e e that i t ’ s badass.

4 . Mhavrych:

M h a v r y c h is t h e rendition o f the g o o d old’ n a m e Maverick. T r u s t us; i t will n o t create a good i m p r e s s i o n on t h e teacher o f your c h i l d . It’s n o t just t h e addition o f ‘h’ t h a t is d i s t u r b i n g . It’s a l s o the u s e of ‘ y ’ instead o f ‘I’ t h a t makes t h i s name a disaster.

5 . Meldor:

M e l d o r sounds l i k e the n a m e of a character f r o m “The L o r d of t h e Rings”. A n d no, i t was n o t invented b y J.R.R. T o l k i e n . Some e n t h u s i a s t i c parents, w h o were p r o b a b l y huge f a n s of “ L o r d of t h e Rings”, c a m e up w i t h the n a m e Meldor. A n d it d o e s not s o u n d good, t o be h o n e s t .

6 . Colon:

I m a g i n e your c h i l d introducing h i m s e l f to h i s friends o r the i n t e r v i e w e r “Hi, I ’ m Colon”. D o you t h i n k it w o u l d make a good i m p r e s s i o n ? No, r i g h t ? There i s absolutely n o way t h i s name i s an a w e s o m e choice.

7 . Thermopylae:

W h a t on e a r t h is t h i s ? Is i t the n a m e of a mythical g o d ? Or i s it a combination n a m e ? Neither! I t ’ s the n a m e of a town i n Green, b u t we d o u b t that t h e person w i t h this n a m e would e v e n knew i t . The m o t h e r was i n s p i r e d by t h e name o f a t e l l e r at h e r bank. A n d she d i d n ’ t even k n o w the m e a n i n g of t h e name. S h e kept i t because s h e liked i t .

8 . Zuma:

G w e n Stefani a n d Gavin R o s s d a l e named t h e i r child Z u m a , after a beach i n Malibu. B u t we t h i n k they d o n ’ t know t h a t Zuma i s also t h e diminutive o f an a w f u l gastrointestinal c o n d i t i o n . And i t is a l s o associated w i t h a m o c k e d beverage.

9 . Yunique:

T h i s one s o u n d s a l i t t l e less n a r c i s s i s t i c than I ’ m u n i q u e . The m o t h e r has j u s t changed t h e spelling o f unique i n this n a m e . At l e a s t , no o n e would s a y that Y u n i q u e is n o t distinct.

1 0 . Mercury C o n s t e l l a t i o n Starcruiser:

A Reddit u s e r shared h i s experience w h e n he w a s in t h e navy. H e came a c r o s s a g e n e r a l with t h e last n a m e , ‘star c r u i s e r ’ . When h e looked u p , he f o u n d that h i s full n a m e was M e r c u r y Constellation S t a r c r u i s e r . This p e r s o n should i d e a l l y be a n astronaut.

1 1 . Gotham:

W h a t happens w h e n the t e r r o r of t h e night b e c o m e s unbearable f o r the p a r e n t s ? They s t a r t naming t h e i r children G o t h a m . Hollywood i s full o f movies a n d television s h o w s that h a v e us r o o t i n g for t h e good g u y . The m o v i e s and s h o w s have i n s p i r e d several b a b y names, w i t h Gotham b e i n g one o f them.

1 2 . Pilot I n s p e k t o r :

E v e n Pilot I n s p e k t o r is n o t even a real j o b . Then w h y did J a s o n Lee o p t for t h i s name f o r his s o n ? Is i t because h e has a thing f o r pilots? O r did h e want t o become a pilot w h e n he w a s young, b u t things d i d n ’ t work i n his f a v o r .

1 3 . Jammy:

P o o r parents t h o u g h t that t h e y were n a m i n g their c h i l d Jamie. H o w I w i s h they h a d researched o n the n a m e on t h e internet.

1 4 . Like:

T h i s name s h o w s how m u c h social m e d i a has a f f e c t e d the l i v e s of p e o p l e . A y o u n g couple w a s so m u c h obsessed w i t h Facebook t h a t they d e c i d e d to n a m e their s o n Like, a f t e r the L i k e feature o f Facebook.

1 5 . Mazen:

A mother n a m e d her s o n Mazen b e c a u s e she f e l t ‘mazen w h e n he w a s born’. B y mazen, s h e means ‘ a m a z i n g ’ . For t h e nickname, s h e can s h o r t e n it f o r Maze. P o o r kid w i l l remain a mystery t h r o u g h o u t his l i f e .

1 6 . Sssst:

C a n any o f you t e l l us h o w this n a m e should b e pronounced? T i p – It s t a r t s with F o u r _ _ . A h i g h – r i s k pregnancy n u r s e had c o m e across t h i s name i n the h o s p i t a l and i t was p o s t e d on R e d d i t by h e r husband.

1 7 . Rage:

N o matter h o w much a n g e r issues y o u have, j u s t do n o t name y o u r child R a g e . A g i r l ran i n t o her e x – b o y f r i e n d at t h e gas s t a t i o n , where h e was w i t h his g i r l f r i e n d and h e r little b a b y in t h e back s e a t named R a g e . Guess w h o had t h e last l a u g h .

1 8 . Bogart C h e Peyote:

T h i s name b e l o n g s to t h e son o f reality s t a r David R a i n e y . Now n a m i n g your c h i l d after r e v o l u t i o n a r i e s and d r u g s is o n e thing. B u t using t h e common t e r m for s l o b b e r i n g is a n o t h e r . And b e l i e v e us, n o n e of t h e two i s appealing.

1 9 . Billion:

Y e s , five b a b i e s born i n the y e a r 2014 w e r e named B i l l i o n . The o n l y plus s i d e of u s i n g a n a m e Billion i s that i t can b e shortened t o Bill o r Billy. O t h e r than t h a t , we c a n ’ t think o f any r e a s o n to g i v e your c h i l d this n a m e . Do y o u think T r i l l i o n would s o o n make t o the b a b y list?

2 0 . Princecharles:

P r i n c e Charles i s different. B u t Princecharles i s a r o y a l l y painful n a m e . Poor c h a p would h a v e had t o constantly s p e l l the n a m e out o r correct p e o p l e on i t s spelling. T h e parents w e r e inspired b y the P r i n c e Charles o f England w h i l e choosing t h i s name.

2 1 . Audio S c i e n c e :

N o , this i s n ’ t a c o l l e g e course d e s c r i p t i o n . It’s t h e name o f Shannyn S o s s a m o n and D a l l a s Clayton’s c h i l d . This m o n i k e r is r a r e , bizarre a n d far f r o m being a name. I m a g i n e the a n n o u n c e m e n t in h i s school “ A u d i o Science p l e a s e come o n the s t a g e ?

2 2 . Sadman:

I f the p a r e n t s wanted t o go w i t h an e m o t i o n while n a m i n g the c h i l d , why d i d they g o with s a d ? They c o u l d have b r i g h t e n e d things u p by g o i n g with C h e e r f u l m a n . This w o r s t boy n a m e appeared o n the b a b y name l i s t in t h e year 2 0 1 4 .

2 3 . Seven:

F a m o u s musician E r y k a h Badu a n d Andree 3 0 0 0 named t h e i r son S e v e n , because i t ’ s a p o w e r f u l number a n d nothing c a n divide i t .

2 4 . Obamanique:

N o t one o r two, b u t several c h i l d r e n are n a m e d Obamanique, i n s p i r e d by t h e 44th U . S . President B a r a c k Obama. Y o u ’ l l find m o s t of t h e Obamaniques r u n n i n g around i n Kenya a n d United S t a t e s .

2 5 . Hashtag:

T h e moniker H a s h t a g was t h e brainchild o f a c o u p l e who w a n t e d something m o d e r n and u n i q u e for t h e i r children. S o they c a m e up w i t h Hashtag, t o capture t h e admiration a n d attention f o r being c r e a t i v e and u n i q u e .

2 6 . Lucifer:

N a t a l y a Menshikova o f Russia n a m e d her s o n Lucifer, e v e n after m u c h dissuading f r o m the R u s s i a n authorities. O n asking, N a t a l y a said t h a t the n a m e is n o t evil a t all a n d mean ‘ l i g h t bringing’.

2 7 . Adolf H i t l e r :

W e have n o problem w i t h the n a m e Adolf, b u t Adolf H i t l e r combined c a n be v e r y unsettling. T h e name g a r n e r e d the w o r l d ’ s attention w h e n a g r o c e r y store i n New J e r s e y refused t o put t h e sign “ H a p p y Birthday A d o l f Hitler” o n the b a b y ’ s cake.

2 8 . C’KRET:

A f t e r having t h e child, t h e couple a s k e d the n u r s e to t e l l them t h e craziest n a m e she h a s heard. S h e replied S e c r e t and t h e parents t h o u g h t ‘Not b a d , right? T h e n she w r o t e it. C ’ K R E T .

2 9 . D’Artagnan:

T h e parents m u s t have r e a d the “ T h r e e Musketeers” b e f o r e deciding o n the n a m e for t h e i r child.

3 0 . Cameron:

Y o u must b e wondering w h y Cameron i s included i n this l i s t . It i s n ’ t stupid i n any w a y . No, C a m e r o n is n o t stupid, b u t it d e f i n i t e l y looks w h e n it’s C a m e r o n Cameron.

3 1 . Prince M i c h a e l II/Blanket:

M i c h a e l Jackson h a d initially c h o s e n the n a m e Prince M i c h a e l II f o r his s o n , but l a t e atoned i t by n i c k n a m i n g his c h i l d Blanket, t h i n k i n g that n o one c o u l d possibly f i n d fault w i t h this n a m e .

3 2 . Jermajesty:

W h i l e naming y o u r child, y o u must d e f i n i t e l y avoid b a d puns a n d awkward p l a y on t h e language. W i s h we c o u l d tell J e r m a i n e Jackson t h e same t h i n g before h e named h i s son J e r m a j e s t y . It s o u n d s like t h e name o f a b a d , hip-hop a l b u m .

W e have a b s o l u t e l y no i d e a what w a s going i n the m i n d s of t h e parents t h a t they d e c i d e d to g i v e such s t r a n g e names t o their c h i l d r e n .

W e ’ d only t e l l you o n e thing. D o not t a k e the d e c i s i o n of c h o o s i n g the n a m e lightly. Y o u might n o t realize, b u t you c o u l d be j e o p a r d i z i n g your c h i l d ’ s life.

T e l l us t h e worst n a m e s you h a v e heard i n your l i f e in t h e comment s e c t i o n below!

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