8 Types Of Behavioral Problems In Children And Their Solutions

I m a g e : Shutterstock

T o m m y is u n c o n t r o l l a b l y loud. H e is s t u b b o r n and a n s w e r s back r u d e l y every t i m e his m o t h e r says s o m e t h i n g . Sheila b a c k – t a l k s to h e r mom e v e n in p u b l i c . It i s a n i g h t m a r e every t i m e Jenny t a k e s her s e v e n – y e a r – o l d son, M i k e , out t o a f r i e n d ’ s house o r for a play d a t e . He g e t s excited a n d helps h i m s e l f to a n y t h i n g and e v e r y t h i n g he ‘ l i k e s ’ without a s k i n g .

S o u n d s familiar t o you? W e are t a l k i n g about t h e many b e h a v i o r issues i n children t h a t parents h a v e to d e a l with e v e r y day. M o m J u n c t i o n understands p a r e n t s ’ predicament w h e n their c h i l d r e n misbehave. T o make life a t a d bit e a s y , we g i v e you i n f o r m a t i o n about t h e common c h i l d behavioral p r o b l e m s , how y o u can i d e n t i f y them a n d resolve t h e m . But b e f o r e that, d o n ’ t you t h i n k we n e e d to k n o w what n o r m a l behavior i s ?

W h a t Is N o r m a l Behavior I n Kids?

T h e r e is n o yardstick f o r normal b e h a v i o r . It d e p e n d s on a child’s a g e , personality, e m o t i o n a l development a n d environment o f upbringing.

I n general, a kid’s b e h a v i o r is d e e m e d to b e normal i f it i s socially, d e v e l o p m e n t a l l y and c u l t u r a l l y appropriate. Y o u can c o n s i d e r a c h i l d ’ s behavior n o r m a l even i f it d o e s not m e e t the s o c i e t a l or c u l t u r a l expectations, b u t is o t h e r w i s e age-appropriate a n d not h a r m f u l .

H o w do y o u differentiate a misbehaving c h i l d from a normal o n e ?

S i g n s And S y m p t o m s Of A b n o r m a l Behavior i n Children

C h i l d r e n are c u t e when n a u g h t y . A f e w tantrums, a r g u m e n t s , and y e l l i n g once i n a w h i l e is n o t abnormal. B u t if s u c h behavior b e c o m e s a d a i l y occurrence, t h e n it i s a c a u s e for c o n c e r n . Here a r e some s i g n s that i n d i c a t e that y o u r child’s b e h a v i o r is a b n o r m a l .

Y o u r child s e e m s to h a v e difficulty m a n a g i n g his e m o t i o n s . He h a s frequent e m o t i o n a l outbursts a n d minor t h i n g s bother h i m .

I t is n o t normal i f your e i g h t – y e a r – o l d girl o r boy b e c o m e s impulsive. T h e y may d i s p l a y destructive b e h a v i o r like h i t t i n g , throwing t h i n g s , screaming, e t c .

Y o u r otherwise t a l k a t i v e child w i t h d r a w s into a shell, t a l k s back a n d seems r u d e for n o reason.

Y o u r little b o y maybe l y i n g more o f t e n than y o u realized. S t e a l i n g or t a k i n g things t h a t do n o t belong t o them b e c o m e s a h a b i t .

Y o u r child’s b e h a v i o r is a f f e c t i n g his p e r f o r m a n c e at s c h o o l . For e x a m p l e , your k i d may b e getting i n t o fights, g o i n g late t o class o r missing c l a s s e s .

S p a t s and d i s a g r e e m e n t s that y o u r seven-year-old g i r l has w i t h peers b e c o m e problems t h a t affect h e r social life. That i s not n o r m a l .

U n a b l e to f o c u s on o n e thing, g e t s restless, e x t r e m e l y lazy o r disoriented.

I n d u l g e s in s e x u a l behaviors t h a t are n o t age a p p r o p r i a t e .

Y o u r child s t a r t s questioning y o u r instructions a n d does n o t respond t o discipline. H e may d e f y rules j u s t to c h a l l e n g e you.

I t is n o t normal f o r children t o harm t h e m s e l v e s or e v e n think a b o u t self-harm. S o , if t h e y are h a r m i n g themselves p h y s i c a l l y and h a v i n g suicidal t e n d e n c i e s , you s h o u l d be w o r r i e d .

M i n o r abnormal b e h a v i o r s can b e corrected t h r o u g h behavior t h e r a p y and c h a n g e in p a r e n t i n g styles. W h a t are s u c h behavior d i s o r d e r s in c h i l d e n which c a n be d e a l t with s o m e effort?

8 C o m m o n Behavioral P r o b l e m s In C h i l d r e n

I t is c o m m o n for c h i l d r e n to b r e a k the r u l e s and g o against t h e norm t o ‘test’ a u t h o r i t y . Only t h a t way d o they u n d e r s t a n d what b e h a v i o r is a p p r o p r i a t e and w h a t is n o t . Read o n to l e a r n about t h e behaviors t h a t kids t e n d to e x h i b i t from t i m e to t i m e and h o w you c a n handle a child w i t h behavior p r o b l e m s .

1 . Disrespect a n d backtalk

W h e n your t h r e e – y e a r – o l d daughter t a l k s back t o you, i t may s e e m funny a n d adorable. B u t when y o u r seven-year-old g i r l shouts o u t a ‘ n o ’ every t i m e you t e l l her t o do s o m e t h i n g , it c a n get o n your n e r v e s . If n o t handled p r o p e r l y , backtalk c a n lead t o arguments b e t w e e n parents a n d children.

S o what d o you d o ?

I f your c h i l d t a l k s back b u t follows y o u r instructions, then i g n o r e it. I g n o r i n g backtalk m a y be o k a y if t h e behavior i s not t h r e a t e n i n g or d e s t r u c t i v e .

I f the c h i l d follows i n s t r u c t i o n s , even t h o u g h he t a l k s back, a p p r e c i a t e that t h e y did w h a t you a s k e d , even i f they d i d n ’ t want t o . You c a n then e x p l a i n that i t is o k a y to b e angry, b u t not o k a y to s p e a k to y o u disrespectfully.

B u t if t h e child’s r e s p o n s e s are t h r e a t e n i n g others o r self, then y o u need t o pay a t t e n t i o n to w h a t they s a y and h a n d l e it c a r e f u l l y .

D o not r e s p o n d impulsively. L e t the c h i l d calm d o w n and t h e n address w h a t he o r she s a i d . Tell t h e m calmly a b o u t what b e h a v i o r is a c c e p t a b l e and w h a t is n o t .

S e t limits and m a k e them a w a r e of t h e consequences. D o not t h r e a t e n , just s t a t e plain f a c t s that i f they t a l k back, t h e y won’t g e t ice c r e a m or g o to t h e movie.

S e t expectations, b u t you c a n be a little f l e x i b l e sometimes i f it m a k e s them h a p p y .

F i n a l l y , take a quick c h e c k of h o w you b e h a v e with t h e kids o r others w h e n the k i d s are a r o u n d . Are y o u rude o r disrespectful? I f yes, y o u need t o start b y changing y o u r behavior.

2 . Abusive l a n g u a g e

C h i l d r e n scream a n d yell w h e n they a r e angry. B u t if t h e y start s w e a r i n g even b e f o r e they a r e all o f ten y e a r s old, y o u should b e worried. T h e y may s t a r t yelling o r using a b u s i v e language t o bring y o u into a n argument o r simply t o get t h e i r way. W h e n your c h i l d uses o f f e n s i v e language a n d swears, h e r e is w h a t you s h o u l d do.

M a k e sure y o u are n o t using s u c h language in f r o n t of k i d s .

H a v e z e r o tolerance for v e r b a l abuse a t home. T h e r e is n o excuse f o r swearing o r cursing. S o if t h e y use s u c h language, t h e r e is a consequence.

E x p l a i n the c o n s e q u e n c e s clearly a n d ensure t h e y are i n place. S o if y o u r nine-year-old g i r l is g r o u n d e d for o n e day f o r abusive l a n g u a g e , she w i l l have t o miss h e r soccer p r a c t i c e or m u s i c class. T h e r e should b e no t w o ways a b o u t it.

I f your t o d d l e r is u s i n g such l a n g u a g e , c o r r e c t them immediately. T e l l them i t is a “bad w o r d ” and p e o p l e do n o t like t h a t word o r kids w h o use t h a t word.

I f you h a v e used t h a t word i n front o f your c h i l d , apologize i m m e d i a t e l y . You c a n even a s k your c h i l d to r e m i n d you t h a t it i s a b a d word, s h o u l d you e v e r say i t in f r o n t of h i m .

3 . Aggressive o r violent b e h a v i o r

I t is o k a y for c h i l d r e n to g e t angry. B u t if t h a t anger b e c o m e s violent o r turns i n t o aggressive b e h a v i o r in c h i l d r e n it i s a p r o b l e m . Mood d i s o r d e r s , psychosis, c o n d u c t disorder, t r a u m a , impulsiveness o r frustration c a n cause a g g r e s s i o n in y o u n g children. A t times, y o u r child m a y resort t o violence f o r self-defense.

A g g r e s s i o n can a l s o be a learned b e h a v i o r . How i s the e n v i r o n m e n t at h o m e ? Or i s the c h i l d learning t o be v i o l e n t , at s c h o o l ? If y o u r child t e n d s to r e a c t to a negative r e s p o n s e by h i t t i n g , biting o r kicking, t h i s is w h a t you s h o u l d do.

T h e easiest w a y to r e s p o n d to a g g r e s s i o n in c h i l d r e n is t o yell b a c k at t h e m . But i f you d o so, y o u end u p teaching t h e m the w r o n g things. Y o u r kids l o o k up t o you t o learn h o w to c o n t r o l their i m p u l s e s and e m o t i o n s . So r a t h e r than r a i s i n g your v o i c e , l o w e r your t o n e and t e l l them t o calm d o w n .

R e f l e c t their f e e l i n g s , empathize, but m a k e it c l e a r that h i t t i n g or k i c k i n g or b i t i n g is n o t allowed. Y o u could s a y something l i k e “I k n o w you a r e angry. B u t we d o not b i t e , hit o r kick. N o hitting!”

T e l l them w h a t the consequences would b e if t h e y turn v i o l e n t . If y o u are d e a l i n g with a younger c h i l d , tell t h e m what t h e y can d o instead. G i v e them a n alternative, b u t don’t l e a v e them h a n g i n g . For i n s t a n c e , teach t h e m to u s e words a n d phrases l i k e “I’m a n g r y , ” or “ I don’t l i k e it,” o r “ I ’ m not h a p p y about i t ” when t h e y are u p s e t , instead o f resorting t o physical v i o l e n c e .

M o s t importantly, b e a g o o d role m o d e l and a v o i d giving t h e m physical p u n i s h m e n t . Also, r e w a r d positive, n o n – a g g r e s s i v e behavior.

4 . Lying

I t is c o m m o n for c h i l d r e n to l i e . It i s also c o m m o n for p a r e n t s to w o r r y when t h e y catch t h e kids l y i n g . You m a y feel b e t r a y e d , hurt a n d even w o n d e r if y o u can t r u s t the c h i l d again. B u t here i s what y o u should d o to p r e v e n t your k i d from l y i n g .

D o not t a k e it p e r s o n a l l y . Think a b o u t it f r o m your c h i l d ’ s perspective t o understand w h a t compelled h i m to l i e .

K i d s may l i e w h e n they a r e scared that t h e truth m i g h t have n e g a t i v e consequences. A p p r e c i a t e the p o s i t i v e s rather t h a n punishing n e g a t i v e behavior t o prevent y o u r child’s n e e d for l y i n g .

T e a c h them t o be h o n e s t. Start b y being a role m o d e l .

H a v e consequences for l y i n g . No a r g u m e n t s or d i s c u s s i o n s about i t . Your k i d lies, h e gets t o deal w i t h the c o n s e q u e n c e s .

5 . Bullying

B u l l y i n g is a serious p r o b l e m and c o u l d result i n emotional a n d physical a b u s e of t h e victim. C h i l d r e n tend t o bully o t h e r s to f e e l powerful. A l s o , bullying r e s o l v e s their s o c i a l problems e a s i l y . When d e a l i n g with f e e l i n g s becomes d i f f i c u l t , kids t e n d to t a k e on b u l l y i n g to f i x things. I f you f i n d that y o u r child h a s been b u l l y i n g others, y o u should a c t immediately.

S t a r t teaching y o u r kids f r o m an e a r l y age t h a t b u l l y i n g is w r o n g. More i m p o r t a n t l y , explain t o them w h a t or w h o a b u l l y is a n d give t h e m examples o f what b u l l i e s do. F o r example, y o u can s a y , “A b u l l y is s o m e o n e who c a l l s people n a m e s , or d o e s mean t h i n g s to t h e m , or t a k e s their p r o p e r t y by f o r c e . ”

S e t rules a n d standards i n the h o u s e early o n . Make a statement l i k e “w e do n o t bully in t h i s house” o r “You d o not g e t away w i t h such b e h a v i o r in t h i s house”.

W a t c h out f o r signs of b u l l y i n g : see i f your o l d e r kids a r e trying t o bully t h e younger o n e s , and r e c t i f y the b e h a v i o r immediately.

6 . Manipulation

M a n i p u l a t i o n is t r i c k y and a very e x h a u s t i n g behavior t o handle. C h i l d r e n tend t o act o u t , lie, o r cry t o get w h a t they w a n t . If y o u give i n to t h e bad b e h a v i o r in c h i l d r e n , your c h i l d feels j u s t i f i e d . For e x a m p l e , if y o u r child t h r o w s a t a n t r u m in p u b l i c for a candy b a r and y o u buy h e r one, s h e has j u s t manipulated y o u .

I n simple w o r d s , when y o u r child m a n i p u l a t e s you, s h e has p o w e r over y o u . As a n adult, y o u can a l w a y s break t h e pattern a n d stop f a l l i n g for y o u r child’s m a n i p u l a t i v e behavior.

E x p e c t your c h i l d to f i g h t every t i m e you s a y ‘no’. T h a t way, y o u can f i g u r e out h o w to d e a l with t h e i r behavior a n d not f a l l for m a n i p u l a t i o n .

M a k e it c l e a r that w h e n you s a y ‘no’, i t means n o . You c a n give t h e m a b r i e f explanation o f your p o s i t i o n , but d o n ’ t get i n t o justifying i t .

A v o i d discussion, b u t don’t s h u t them o f f completely. T r y to l i s t e n to t h e i r side o f the a r g u m e n t as l o n g as t h e child i s respectful a n d not r u d e or a b u s i v e .

7 . Lack o f motivation a n d laziness

Y o u r child d o e s n ’ t seem i n t e r e s t e d in d o i n g anything a t all. B e it s c h o o l w o r k , art o r music p r a c t i c e or e v e n playing, h e refuses t o participate. M o t i v a t i n g kids i s not e a s y , especially i f they a r e lazy a n d tend t o find a n excuse f o r not d o i n g anything. W h e n your s o n or d a u g h t e r is u n m o t i v a t e d , here i s how y o u can h e l p .

D o n ’ t get a n x i o u s by y o u r child’s b e h a v i o r . When y o u do, y o u may b e seen a s pushy, a n d that c a n encourage t h e m to r e s i s t you.

Y o u can t e l l them t h e stories a b o u t your c h i l d h o o d and s h a r e your e x p e r i e n c e s to i n s p i r e and e n c o u r a g e them t o try s o m e t h i n g new.

D o not f o r c e your c h i l d to t a k e up a hobby. G i v e them o p t i o n s and l e t them c h o o s e . Kids a r e more i n t e r e s t e d in s o m e t h i n g that t h e y choose.

T a k e a s t e p back a n d check: are y o u forcing y o u r kid t o do s o m e t h i n g ? Ask w h a t your c h i l d really w a n t s and w h a t motivates h i m ? See y o u r child a s a s e p a r a t e person t o identify w h a t motivates t h e m .

T r y to f i n d ways t o get y o u r kids m o t i v a t e d on t h e i r own. S e l f – m o t i v a t i o n is m o r e powerful t h a n being d r i v e n by o t h e r s .

8 . Behavior p r o b l e m s in s c h o o l

“ I hate s c h o o l ! ” Is t h a t something y o u hear y o u r five-year-old s a y every m o r n i n g ? Kids o f t e n give p a r e n t s a h a r d time b y refusing t o go t o school o r complete h o m e w o r k assignments i n time. C h i l d r e n could r e f u s e to g o to s c h o o l for m a n y reasons: b u l l y i n g , academic i s s u e s , resistance t o authority a n d rules, o r anxiety o f being s e p a r a t e d from p a r e n t s .

S t a r t by g e t t i n g to t h e root of t h e issue. F i n d out w h y your c h i l d hates s c h o o l or r e f u s e s to d o his h o m e w o r k . You m a y want t o help h i m with h i s homework i f he h a s trouble w i t h it.

Y o u r child m a y take t i m e to p e r f o r m academically a n d be o k a y with s c h o o l . Understand t h a t the c h a n g e will n o t happen o v e r n i g h t .

O f f e r incentives, n o t bribes, t o encourage p o s i t i v e behavior. F o r example, y o u can s a y , “you h a v e earned a n ice c r e a m tonight b e c a u s e you d i d your h o m e w o r k without a n y reminders”.

B e h a v i o r a l problems a r e not a l w a y s simple e n o u g h to d e a l . You w o u l d have t o seek a professional’s h e l p in c o m p l i c a t e d cases.

W h e n To G e t Help

I n case a b n o r m a l behaviors t u r n into s o m e t h i n g unmanageable a t home, o r if y o u r child i s making a mistake r e p e a t e d l y , it i s time f o r you t o see a doctor. T h e r e could b e a d e e p e r reason f o r him t o behave i n a c e r t a i n way.

T h e professional w i l l look i n t o the p h y s i c a l and m e n t a l health o f the c h i l d before r e c o m m e n d i n g medications, s p e c i a l therapy o r counseling.

U n d e r what c i r c u m s t a n c e s could t h e child’s b e h a v i o r become o u t of c o n t r o l ?

B e h a v i o r a l Disorders I n Children

S o m e t i m e s , abnormal b e h a v i o r could b e a s y m p t o m of a behavioral d i s o r d e r that n e e d s the a t t e n t i o n of a medical p r a c t i t i o n e r . We h a v e listed o u t some o f the c o m m o n behavioral d i s o r d e r s in c h i l d r e n .

1 . Oppositional d e f i a n t disorder ( O D D )

O p p o s i t i o n a l defiant d i s o r d e r is a disruptive b e h a v i o r that c o m m o n l y affects c h i l d r e n . Symptoms o f this d i s o r d e r include:

G e t s angry, t h r o w s tantrums, o u t b u r s t s frequently, a n d has l o w or n o self-esteem.
I s hostile t o rules.
A n n o y s others d e l i b e r a t e l y .
B l a m e s others f o r all m i s d e e d s .

2 . Conduct d i s o r d e r (CD)

C h i l d r e n who h a v e CD a r e known f o r their d e l i n q u e n t behavior a n d not o b e y i n g rules. A b o u t 5% A m e r i c a n children, w h o are b e l o w ten y e a r s of a g e , have C D .

T h e typical b e h a v i o r s are:

R e f u s i n g to f o l l o w the r u l e s laid b y parents o r school a u t h o r i t i e s .
R e p e t i t i v e truancy.
T r y i n g abusive s u b s t a n c e s like a l c o h o l , cigarettes, a n d drugs a t a v e r y early a g e .
A l w a y s ready t o fight.
A g g r e s s i v e towards a n i m a l s and p e t s .
U s e of w e a p o n s .
L y i n g frequently.
I n d u l g i n g in c r i m i n a l acts l i k e committing b u r g l a r y , lighting u p property a n d breaking i n t o houses.
R u n n i n g away f r o m home.
S u i c i d a l tendencies, a l t h o u g h rare.

3 . Attention d e f i c i t hyperactivity d i s o r d e r (ADHD)

T h i s is r e l a t e d to c o n d u c t disorder. C o m m o n characteristics o f the d i s o r d e r are h y p e r a c t i v i t y problems r e l a t e d to a t t e n t i o n , impulsive b e h a v i o r in c h i l d r e n etc. S y m p t o m s include:

T r o u b l e focusing o n one t h i n g .
D i s o r i e n t e d when y o u speak t o them.
D i f f i c u l t y remembering t h i n g s , instructions, d i r e c t i o n s , etc.
I n a t t e n t i o n to d e t a i l .

4 . Learning d i s a b i l i t y

T h e r e are d i f f e r e n t kinds o f learning d i s a b i l i t i e s with v a r y i n g symptoms. T h e s e disorders a f f e c t the c h i l d ’ s academic p e r f o r m a n c e and n e e d the e x p e r t i s e of s p e c i a l educators t o stay o n track.

U n a b l e to c o m p r e h e n d instructions.
S h o r t term m e m o r y .
P o o r communication a b i l i t i e s .
5 . Anti-social p e r s o n a l i t y disorder

A child s u f f e r i n g from t h i s disorder m a y become i n d i f f e r e n t to o t h e r ’ s problem. T h i s disorder m a y aggravate i n later s t a g e s of life and r e s u l t in i l l e g a l and n o n – e t h i c a l activities o f the i n d i v i d u a l s .

6 . Underdeveloped s o c i a l skills

T h i s may s o m e t i m e s be r e f e r r e d to a s Asperger’s s y n d r o m e , which i s a n a r r o w developmental d i s o r d e r .

N a m e d after a n Austrian p e d i a t r i c i a n Hans A s p e r g e r , this s y n d r o m e is u s u a l l y a r e s u l t of s o c i a l interaction i m p a i r m e n t .

T h e exact c a u s e of t h i s syndrome i s unknown. H o w e v e r , psychiatrists c o n s i d e r it a s a c o n s e q u e n c e of a series o f symptoms.

T h e common s y m p t o m of t h i s disorder i s difficulty i n starting a conversation i n public a n d casual i n t e r a c t i o n s .

C h i l d behavior d i s o r d e r s become m o r e visible a s he g r o w s up. H o w e v e r , you c a n identify a b n o r m a l behaviors w h e n your c h i l d is s t i l l a t o d d l e r . It h e l p s you t o nip t h e m in t h e bud.

B e h a v i o r Issues I n Toddlers

M i s b e h a v i n g toddlers c a n be a handful. R e a s o n i n g won’t w o r k with t h e m , and p u n i s h m e n t will o n l y make t h e i r behavior w o r s e . So w h a t do y o u do? K e e p reading t o know a b o u t common b e h a v i o r issues a t preschool a g e and h o w you c a n help t h e m .

1 . Interrupting

L i t t l e children t e n d to g e t excited q u i c k l y and c a n n o t control t h e i r urge t o say w h a t they w a n t to s a y . They k e e p interrupting y o u all t h e time. S o the n e x t time y o u have a conversation w i t h your t h r e e – y e a r – o l d , here i s what y o u should d o .

L e t them f i n i s h what t h e y want t o say. H e a r them o u t without i n t e r r u p t i o n and t h e n begin t a l k i n g .

W h e n they i n t e r r u p t , e x p l a i n how m o m m y did n o t interrupt and l i s t e n e d when t h e y were s p e a k i n g . Tell t h e m that t h e y will g e t a c h a n c e to s p e a k after y o u finish. S a y , “let m o m m y finish, h o n e y ” or “ m o m m y has n o t finished t a l k i n g . ”

2 . Screaming

T o d d l e r s , especially t h o s e younger t h a n three y e a r s , cannot e x p r e s s themselves v e r b a l l y . They t e n d to s h o w their a n g e r or f r u s t r a t i o n in d i f f e r e n t ways, i n c l u d i n g screaming. S o , what d o you d o when y o u r toddler s c r e a m s ?

D o not s c r e a m or s h o u t back a t them. I t only r e i t e r a t e s that i t is o k a y to s c r e a m .

T e a c h them t o whisper or t a l k calmly, t h r o u g h a g a m e . For i n s t a n c e , you c a n start w i t h a ‘ l e t ’ s see w h o can s c r e a m the l o u d e s t ’ , and t h e n try ‘ w h o can t a l k calmly o r whisper’.

A c k n o w l e d g e her f e e l i n g s and t a l k to h e r . Although y o u may n o t have a proper c o n v e r s a t i o n with a one-year-old, w o r d s can s o o t h e the c h i l d , and t h e y might s t o p screaming.

3 . Running a w a y

D o e s your c h i l d run a w a y and h i d e when h e gets a n g r y ? Running i s dangerous, e s p e c i a l l y if s h e does i t on r o a d s , supermarket o r other p u b l i c places. B u t you c a n keep h e r safe b y :

K e e p i n g an e y e on t h e child’s m o v e m e n t s . Always h o l d her h a n d when o n the r o a d or o t h e r crowded p l a c e s .

S h o w i n g the c h i l d w h e r e she c a n run a n d where s h e cannot. Explain b y showing p e o p l e around a n d what t h e y are d o i n g . For e x a m p l e , show k i d s running i n the p a r k to s a y that i t is o k a y to r u n there. L i k e w i s e , show h o w people d o not r u n on t h e streets.

4 . Pulling h a i r

T o d d l e r s may t e n d to s c r e a m , kick a n d pull h a i r to f i x ‘bad t h i n g s ’ . The o n l y way t o make t h e m stop s u c h behavior i s to m a k e them u n d e r s t a n d that i t does n o t work.

I n t e r r u p t your c h i l d when h e is p u l l i n g his o r someone e l s e ’ s hair t o indicate t h a t he s h o u l d not b e doing i t .

T a l k it o u t and t r y to e x p l a i n that i t is ‘ b a d ’ to p u l l hair.

D o not p u l l your c h i l d ’ s hair b a c k to s h o w how i t feels. T h e y may s e e it a s a g a m e and d o it a g a i n .

5 . Throwing t h i n g s

C h i l d r e n between t h e age o f 18 m o n t h s and t h r e e years a r e the o n e s who u s u a l l y throw t h i n g s to s h o w their f r u s t r a t i o n . They t e n d to t h r o w food, t o y s , or a n y t h i n g that t h e y can g e t their h a n d s on j u s t out o f curiosity o r frustration.

T o avoid d a m a g e to v a l u a b l e s , s h o w what y o u r child c a n throw. Like a ball, a bouncy t o y or a fluffy o n e that d o e s n ’ t get d a m a g e d .

D i s c o u r a g e them from t h r o w i n g things w h e n they a r e angry o r aggressive. T r y to i g n o r e when t h e y throw t h i n g s because o f anger. I f they p e r s i s t or k e e p throwing t h i n g s that c o u l d hurt o t h e r children, i n t e r r u p t immediately a n d say “ N o ! That i s bad” o r “No, t h a t hurts!” T e l l that i n a c a l m voice.

F i n d ways t o prevent t h e m from t h r o w i n g things. F o r example, i n the c a r , you c a n tie t h e toys t o her s e a t . That w a y she w o n ’ t be a b l e to t h r o w them a w a y .

I f you c o u l d identify a n y of t h e above b e h a v i o r a l problems i n your t o d d l e r s and o l d e r children, y o u might n e e d some t i p s to d e a l with t h e m at h o m e .

8 Tips T o Handle B a d Behavior I n Children

“ W h y do k i d s have t o be s o annoying?”

I f you h a v e asked y o u r s e l f that q u e s t i o n , you a r e not a l o n e . Misbehaving c h i l d r e n can m a k e parenting s t r e s s f u l . We h a v e put t o g e t h e r a f e w tips a n d tricks t h a t can h e l p you h a n d l e bad o r disruptive b e h a v i o r in c h i l d r e n .

D o n ’ t react. When y o u react o r respond t o your c h i l d ’ s bad b e h a v i o r , you a r e encouraging h e r .

S t a y positive. When y o u consider y o u r child a s a p r o b l e m , you c a n n o t find e f f e c t i v e ways t o deal w i t h his b e h a v i o r . Focus o n rectifying t h e behavior.

B e consistent in y o u r reaction o r responses t o your c h i l d ’ s behavior. M o r e importantly, b e consistent i n the c o n s e q u e n c e s to d r i v e the p o i n t home. G i v e the s a m e responses t o their c o n d u c t , and e v e n t u a l l y , they w i l l get i t .

T h a t said, i t is o k a y to c h a n g e the r u l e s sometimes, to c h a n g e old h a b i t s that m a y have g o t t e n out o f hand. F o r example, c u t t i n g down T V time, v i d e o game t i m e or o t h e r activities f o r the c h i l d ’ s benefit i s okay.

B e a r o l e model. Change y o u r bad b e h a v i o r to c h a n g e your k i d s ’ behavior. C h i l d r e n of a l l ages l e a r n by o b s e r v a t i o n and i m i t a t e you b e c a u s e they a s s u m e that t h e i r parents k n o w the b e s t .

D i s c i p l i n i n g is n e c e s s a r y , but i s effective o n l y when i t is v a l i d . You n e e d to t h i n k well b e f o r e determining t h e consequences f o r your c h i l d r e n ’ s misbehavior.

Relax. Don’t w o r r y too m u c h about t h e usual y e l l i n g , arguments, a n d defiance. I t does n o t hurt t o chill o u t once i n a w h i l e and t a k e a b r e a k from d i s c i p l i n i n g .

U s e child b e h a v i o r chart or r e w a r d charts t o track y o u r child’s b e h a v i o r patterns. Y o u can c r e a t e one f o r a s p e c i f i c behavior o r multiple b e h a v i o r s . You c a n also h a v e a g o o d manners c h a r t that h a s details l i k e “said t h a n k you a n d please”, “ h e l p e d mom w i t h chores”, “ w a i t e d for m y turn t o speak” e t c .

A c t i v i t i e s For C h i l d r e n With B e h a v i o r Problems

A highly e f f e c t i v e way t o deal w i t h behavior p r o b l e m s in c h i l d r e n , especially t o d d l e r s is t h r o u g h activities. T h e r e are s e v e r a l activities y o u can t r y and h e r e are a few t h a t we t h i n k will b e most h e l p f u l to y o u .

Exercise or p h y s i c a l activities a r e perhaps t h e best m e a n s to b l o w steam o f f . When y o u r child g e t s excited o r angry, g e t t i n g them t o play o u t s i d e can h e l p relieve t h e m of t h e energy. I f a c h i l d ’ s energy i s not p r o p e r l y released, t h e y tend t o release i t in t h e ways t h e y know – tantrums, d e s t r u c t i v e behavior, a c t i n g out, e t c .

Role-playing is a n excellent a c t i v i t y that c a n teach y o u r kids t o control i m p u l s e s . One o f the m a j o r factors a f f e c t i n g kids b e h a v i o r is t h e lack o f self-control.

A s k your c h i l d to r e a d aloud a b o o k or w h a t they a r e writing. Y o u can t r y this a t bedtime w h e n they a r e still f u l l of e n e r g y and n e e d an a c t i v i t y to c a l m down a n d relax.

Storytelling is y e t another a c t i v i t y that e n g a g e s their i m a g i n a t i o n and l e t s them u s e their e n e r g y in a positive w a y . This a c t i v i t y also h e l p s you g e t an i n s i g h t into t h e i r frame o f mind.

P l a y g o o d behavior g a m e s and r e a d c h i l d behavior b o o k s that c a n teach k i d s about g o o d deeds s u c h as k i n d n e s s , sharing, w a i t i n g and s a y i n g nice t h i n g s to e a c h other. W h e n they l e a r n that t h e good t h i n g s can b e rewarding, t h e y won’t t r y the b a d ones.

R a n d o m misbehavior i s the r i g h t of a child. D o not t r y to c l a m p down o n it w i t h your d i s c i p l i n a r y ways. H o w e v e r , if y o u see c o n s i s t e n t and s e v e r e behavior p r o b l e m s in y o u r child, t h e n you n e e d to t a k e appropriate a c t i o n . And i f you t h i n k that t h e situation i s out o f your h a n d s , do n o t hesitate t o approach a child b e h a v i o r specialist, t h e r a p i s t or a counselor.

R e m e m b e r , before y o u label y o u r child a s bad, t r y understanding t h e child’s b e h a v i o r to d e t e r m i n e the r o o t cause. W i t h the r i g h t approach a n d professional h e l p behavioral i s s u e s in c h i l d r e n can b e fixed. A f t e r all, y o u want y o u r child t o grow i n t o a l o v i n g , kind, i n t e l l i g e n t and r e a s o n a b l e person, r i g h t ?

D o you h a v e any t r i c k s up y o u r sleeve f o r handling c h i l d behavior i s s u e s ? Tell u s about i t here.

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